Altered Resiliency

Writing is My Solace

Sometimes you can be the best friend you possibly can to someone and still end up being treated like nothing. You can constantly try to do things for them, think of how certain decisions will affect them and check in to make sure you’re not being a bad friend.

You can be completely blind to the fact that you’re not doing anything wrong, they just care less. Sometimes you’re too selfless and those around you will take advantage of it. You are thinking so much of the others around you that it doesn’t even cross your mind that you’ve been blind to toxic behaviors.

That’s because you always want to think the best of other people. You believe that if you give 100% they’ll do the Same in return. Despite being constantly proven wrong, you still give others the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe it’s because you struggle from time to time and wouldn’t want to put your own burden on others. When you open up to allow them to see your weaknesses, you feel like you owe them so much more. You don’t ever want them to feel like you weren’t grateful for those few times of kindness that you completely blind yourself to what’s going on.

It hurts but then again it’s easier to feel pain than to be numb to the truths of the world. You’re the only person whose ever going to be there for you consistently. You’ll be let down over and over again in this lifetime.

That’s why there’s the saying that as you age your friend group gets smaller. I believe it’s because of the selfish nature of humans. Not enough of us carry empathy in our hearts to see the pain we may cause others through our actions.

We’re impulsive creatures and we don’t always think through the things we do and how our body language/ words (or lack thereof) can hurt others. Why doesn’t everyone consider what they could be doing to others?

It’s a question I’ll probably never have answered.

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